The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
