it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
