god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
