First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
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