I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
And then my night got REAL pukey
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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