I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
