the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
When are your genitals available?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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