Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
