In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
you inspire me to be a worse person
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
