i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
