You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
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