After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I'm always down for nudity.
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