Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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