no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
