Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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