She's JV to your varsity
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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