She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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