Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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