Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
