We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
