there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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