Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
