If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
