dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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