I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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