3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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