No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
