so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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