tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
