just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
