Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
