You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
