found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
