You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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