apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
