I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
