you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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