i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
