3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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