I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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