Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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