we have pet lesbian snakes
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Everyone says I win the strip club
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
