Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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