so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
