Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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