Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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