Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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