i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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