No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
