so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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