I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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