somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
