so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I am midnight drunk by noon
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
