He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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