just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
