AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
