I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
