You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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