I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
